Rachel Knox is fondly known as my “food friend”. She is an absolute delight and an extremely capable and kind person. I love how she answered my query, much differently from the rest but on quite a personal level she approached change in a relationship. As a chronic commitment-phobe, I love that she took this question from an individual to corporate level – how do you embrace change and adversity as two people instead of one?
I think adversity is a bit more than difficulty. Adversity is what you face at rock bottom. Adversity is when you’re faced with a problem and you don’t know how to overcome it. I guess that’s not true either. I firmly believe that it is not that we can’t overcome the issue at hand, the challenge is that we don’t like our options. We tend to avoid these challenges at all costs, waiting instead for an easier option to find us. Recently I was faced with adversity with my partner, something that I could not let go of.
It’s not like he’s new in my life. We’ve been together for over ten years, through some very tough situations that make you think it can’t get any worse than this. Until it does. There always seems to be another challenge waiting, the most recent of which is a tough one, and we haven’t found a solution yet. But we’re working on it. These things take time.
In all ten years I have firmly believed that this man was going to be my forever. Even when we weren’t together, in my head I knew that I could never love someone as much as I love him. Luckily, fate and faith has brought us back to one another. After a week of tears and no reconciliation in sight, for the first time I wondered if maybe we should break up. There are obstacles that will be present in our lives forever, so how do you just move past it? The thought broke my heart, but I didn’t see any other solution. I was at my rock bottom. All my options were hard and while this solution was the easiest – it certainly didn’t seem any easier than the rest.
Sometimes in these seasons of adversity it’s easier to work backwards. I realized that we have both fought so hard for this relationship and worked for so long at it that I’m not about to let go. The pain is worth it because he’s worth it – we’re worth it. My options aren’t any easier and we have a tough road ahead of us, but I know what I want and it’s him. Sometimes knowing, really knowing what you want can drive you to work out your challenges and find a way to overcome. You have to know whether you’re walking the path you’re meant to, and when to let it go. I strongly believe that we are never given more than we can handle. But we may not be aware of how strong we are until we have to pull up our socks and do something we do want to, to get the results we want and possibly need.
(Image via here)