Alexi Murdoch – All My Days
There are a few giants crowding my thoughts of late, armed with unknowns like where I will work, whether to buy a car, where I will live and go to school. Lesser giants draw battle lines like how will I ever finish my thesis, is there enough time to get everything done, and am I ready for whatever is next. My class on the neuro-cognitive mechanisms of anxiety isn’t helping my state of mind, to say the least.
Tumbling circles in my head around these giants has been a single line, a prayer about uncertainty. “Give me eyes to see more of who you are, may what I behold still my anxious heart.” I’ve sung it as loud as I can, and hummed it quietly as the weeks have progressed. What I’ve experienced has been living proof of this: the more I know and trust my Saviour, the less worry and fear build up and clog my arteries. I admitted to my sister that anything good that’s happened to me lately has not been my fault. I have been so well taken care of in a lot of ways, having people on my home team I can count on, being given two jobs for the summer and more than one place to live. My mom softly, almost glibly laughed at me, and asked why I’m so amazed at his faithfulness, “He loves you, Kendra. Why would He not want to give you good and surprising gifts?”
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