Iron & Wine – House By The Sea
The air seems bright today, happy in a new sort of way.
It’s not the sort of thing romantics wish to hear, but I think that sometimes love must be something of a discipline. If we love only with our feelings, we may feel love one day and something else entirely the next. I think that the key may be to love by will, not feelings. This is not to discount the warm and cozy moments, but in between those still-frame exchanges, when I feel empty and exhausted and in way over my head, I can still choose to love, because I have not based loved on feelings. It’s at this point, too, that Jesus who is Love gives us the ability to love. My love simply is not enough.
Last Christmas, my mom told me that at some point you have to stop adding up the score. It’s so easy to weigh out who has done more, given more, loved more often. I add up the score as if I win, as if I deserve more. Love, my mom said, is about cancelling the score. It’s about having enough grace to give without expecting anything in return. It’s about seeing people for who they can be, seeing past the bitterness and anger and grief into possibility. It becomes less about how much someone needs to change, and more about the way I view them.